The Power of Positive Thinking

The title of this post isn't going to make much sense at first.. just bare with me.

I had my growth ultrasound on Thursday & it didn't go as well as I had hoped. First off, my cervix is measuring 3.1. Still above 3, so that's good, but since it's so close to that magic number my OB put me on modified bed rest until I get my cervix checked again in 2 weeks. Basically that just means that I need to stay off my feet as much as possible, and minimize any stress at work. My OB wants me to try to work from home, but I'm thinking of working something out where I work from home a couple days a week, and the other days I'll go in. I have a desk job, so it's not like I'm on my feet anyways.

It worries me that I'm just shy of 24 weeks and already on modified bed rest, but I'm willing to do whatever I have to do to keep these babies in for as long as possible.

The ultrasound also showed the babies' fluid level surrounding them was a tad on the high side. The doctor said it's nothing to worry about at this point, but it could be an indicator for gestational diabetes. I have that test this Wednesday, so we'll see how that goes.

Lastly, they still aren't able to detect a part of baby A's nasal bone. I'm not sure if you remember that from my anatomy scan, but it's a marker for down syndrome. At the time the thought was that she was just too wiggly to get a good profile pictures, but this last ultrasound confirmed that it's not there. Of course she has a nose, it's just that there's a part of the nasal bone that's not there.

Our bloodwork was awesome (1 in 100,000), but this one marker takes the risk of downs to 1 in 10,000. I had to sit down with the doctor after the ultrasound to discuss it further. Basically the only way to know whether she has downs is to do an amnio, which at this point in the pregnancy I'm just not willing to take that risk. The doctor said he's had 2 patients who had the same situation and their babies were just fine. He said the nasal bone didn't show up in any ultrasound throughout their entire pregnancy, so I should expect the same and just hope for the best when she's born. sigh.

So, I was angry.. angry that I have to just wait it out the next few months not knowing whether baby A has down syndrome, or not. I was angry that after all we went through just to get pregnant, we would have something like this to worry about. Don't get me wrong, we would love her no matter what.. there's nothing that would change that. But, would it be a huge life changing experience that scares the crap out of me? Heck yeah.

That's where we're at. Not the best of appointments. But then I talked to a friend yesterday who battled breast cancer for 3.5 years, and just found out this week that she's officially cancer free (YAY!). She talked to me about the power of positive thinking and how she's convinced that's what finally beat her cancer. She started meditating, and completely changed her outlook on life & her battle with cancer.

I won't go on & on about everything she did, but it really got me thinking. I've decided to stay positive and expect nothing but the best outcome when the babies are born. With no other markers and great bloodwork, the chance that she's perfectly healthy is really in our favor. Why dwell on something I have no control over?

So, nothing but positive thinking from here on out.. we WILL have two beautiful, healthy baby girls in May.