Hope

A friend of mine recently wrote a blog all about hope & it lifted my spirits (thank you Kate). Throughout this long journey I've always been the one being pessimistic realistic, trying to fight hope so I wouldn't be hurt month after month. Inevitably I had many many months where I was hopeful. Those months were the hardest let downs, so to me hope = more hurt, more heartache. I just figured I would let the ones who love me remain optimistic and hopeful for me, while I wallowed in self pity. Healthy, eh?

Here's what President Obama had to say about hope: Hope – Hope in the face of difficulty. Hope in the face of uncertainty. The audacity of hope! In the end, that is God’s greatest gift to us, the bedrock of this nation. A belief in things not seen. A belief that there are better days ahead.

I have to start believing that there are better days ahead. I will get the baby I've been dreaming of for so long. I have to start believing that. I have to find my hope & allow myself to hold onto it.

When we had only been trying around 5 months and I was already getting frustrated and worried (haha), my sister gave me this:

It sits on a shelf in my living room and I look at it all the time. I love it. Lately I've been day dreaming about the day I can move that figurine into my baby's nursery, and some day I'll tell them what that figurine means to me.

So, hope.. I have it & I don't plan on letting it go. Any time I've convinced myself it's never going to happen, I'll come back to this blog post of mine. I'll read the following quotes, and I'll try to believe again.

"When the world says 'Give up', hope whispers 'Try it one more time'"- author unknown

"Hope is that thing with feathers that perches in the soul and sings the tune without the words and never stops... at all."  - Emily Dickinson

"If you lose hope, somehow you lose the vitality that keeps life moving, you lose that courage to be, that quality that helps you go on in spite of it all. And so today I still have a dream." - Martin Luther King, Jr.